Misery

Sometimes things just don't go well. I am having one of those moments, a moment I hope will only last a month. I thought about it, cried, and had a wide mix of emotions ... sad, disappointed, frustrated, ashamed, humilitated, embarrased. I know I am being quite vague, and I don't really want to get into details, but I think that everyone has felt this way at some point, regardless of the situation. But as I was in the middle of these feelings I thought about the good points of my life; things could be worse. I have a wonderful husband (deployed, but still mine), a family back home whom I love to death, all of my limbs are still attached ... yes, things could definitely be much worse. But pain is in the gut of the beholder. Little kids cry when they accidentally let go of their balloon and it sails into the sky ... that balloon was everything to that little kid. They haven't graduated to the stressors that we pride ourselves in as we reach adulthood. I wish I didn't care about my problem. I wish it would just go away. But the reality is that it has to run its course ... a painful waiting game that I don't have much patience for. Also, sitting at home all alone, I felt like I was rotting away in my misery. I had to get out ... and so I did, with the company of a good friend over a bite to eat. I bitched, he listened. And I feel a lot better. I won't cry myself to sleep tonight ... I don't feel so alone anymore. Thank you :)

Photo taken in Paris, France and is Copyright Nicole Young, 1998.